DMV

Time to renew the drivers license.
The DMV is one of those place where people like to bitch about all the idiots and sloths who work there. It’s not perfect but the one by me is pretty damn efficient – even if I did have to wait about an hour there.
No, what amazes me about the DMV is not the employees, but the customers. Look around you – look at all these goddamn idiots. And watch out, cause every single one of them drives a car.
It’s a pretty simple process – they give you a number and at some point they call that number and you go to the counter. A nice, clear, easy to understand, computerized voice chimes out “Now serving B276 at desk 9”.
And if no one shows up after a bit, they call it again, and then they will call it again, and maybe even again. Always at least 3 times, sometimes more – and sometimes the person behind the desk will call it out as well “B276! Last call!”. And numerous times while I waited, I would see some 80 year old accident-waiting-to-happen get up on the 4th call and look around like they had just woken up from a nap – confused as all hell as they spin in circles trying to figure out where to go next. I saw one woman do this and she eventually sat back down. 10 minutes later, she is at the front desk complaining that ‘they missed her number’. The guy at the front desk then became my hero as he said “Lady, how can you drive a car if you can’t even listen for a number?” Funny – but oh so true. This old biddy with a reaction time of 5-15 minutes is going to be driving behind you when she rams you at a red light. Then she will stumble out of the car and ask why you hit her.

Despite my praise for most of the workers there, I did manage to get a major crab-ass when it was my turn. I had to take a quick vision test. You look in the big viewmaster they have sitting on the desk.
Here’s approximately what I saw – 3 rows, 4 columns:
1 7284 7284 (blank) 9368
2 1063 1063 (blank) 4926
3 6970 6970 (blank) 2976
She says – read line 1. I read the entire line.
She says “No, no, no! Line 1!” I read it again.
“LINE 1!!” I read it again.
“THE NUMBERS IN THE MIDDLE!!” I read ‘7284’.
Then she sighs and says “Oh, try this one instead.” Translation – I’ve been showing you the wrong screen and I’m too bat-ass cranky to admit it and apologize. She shows me something else, I read it and she says “Ok – you’re done.” Yay, I passed. Thanks, crabass.

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